Badass Books of 2011

Hello ladies and gents.  Well here we are, the last part of 2011.  I have to say 2011 was superior to 2010 in nearly every way.  I got a career in 2011, I got married, I went on a super honeymoon, and Scott and I made strides toward what we want in life.  I can only hope that 2012 will continue the upward trend and help us get even further along our list o' goals.  I'll send good 2012 vibes to anyone who will send them to me.  Deal?  Ok good.

Instead of doing a year in review, I thought I'd make a list of books I really enjoyed this year.  They're not necessarily books written in 2011, but I definitely read them this year.  And I liked them.  In no particular order:

1. The Help- I was really late to this bandwagon as I only started reading the book around the time the movie came out.  And because I'm one who feels the need to read any book before seeing the movie (with the exception of Jurassic Park because I was 8 when that movie came out, but I later read it and it was WAY better than the movie), I decided I wanted to read the book before I went to see it.  It was a really great book.  It's amazing how far we've come in even the past 50 years with civil rights.  I can't imagine thinking that someone had a disease because of their skin color.  People were dumb.  In case you were wondering, I saw the movie recently and really liked it too.
2. A Dog's Purpose- this one is probably one of the best books I've ever read.  I bought it as part of the huge order I made from Borders with the gift card we got for our wedding. (Thank goodness I used that before Borders went bye-bye).  I started reading on a Thursday evening before bed, and I had finished it by Sunday afternoon.  Tears, laughter, the whole nine yards.  It's a book written from the point of view of a dog as he goes through different lives trying to find his purpose in each.  If you have ever thought to yourself "I wonder what my dog thinks of everything that happens," this book is one you should read.  Obviously no one will ever really know what dogs are thinking, but I'd like to think it was something like this.  Such a great read and it really made me appreciate my furry children even more.  I recommended it to everyone I know, and it was a successful recommendation because everyone I told really liked it also.
3. The Art of Racing in the Rain- another book written from a dog's point of view.  This one isn't as upbeat as the other, and takes on more dark and adult themes.  I still cried though.
4. The Jaycee Dugard Story-  I'm not sure if that's what the book is called, but nonetheless it was a really good, if horrifying, read.  To read what that sweet little girl endured for so long, and to see how positive and graceful she has stayed throughout it all, it's remarkable.  It really puts things into perspective.
5. Bossypants- Tina Fey's "memoir" or whatever they call those.  It's hilarious.  I would lay there in bed reading it, and burst into a random fit of laughter while Scott just looked at me like I had clearly lost my mind. 
6. The Hunger Games (and Catching Fire and Mockingjay)- Oh my goodness.  These books are insane.  I read the first one in about 2 days, the second in 2, and am currently on the third, which I anticipate finishing well before I go back to work on Tuesday.  It's a young-adult series, but it's so well-written you will literally read 100 pages in what feels like five minutes.  I know Diane is eagerly awaiting me to catch up and finish the last book so we can spend hours analyzing it, much like we do every book series.

I am sure I read other books in 2011, as I tend to get through a book every few weeks on average, but those are the books that stuck out to me as books I really enjoyed.  I have a list of books I'm excited to read in the new year also.

1. Water for Elephants- again I know there's a movie but I can't see it until I read the book!  I got through the first few chapters before I got books 2 and 3 of the Hunger Games so Water for Elephants got shelved.  But I am excited to pick it back up again.
2. 11/22/63- Stephen King's thousand page thriller about a guy who is sent back in time to try and prevent JFK's assassination.  I have it on the Kindle ready to go.
3. Band of Brothers- here's one where I'm guilty of watching the movie (mini-series) before reading the book.  But, in this case, the series is absolutely phenomenal, and I've heard the book only expands on the characters you come to love in the series.  I got an Amazon gift card for Christmas so that will be on my Kindle very soon.

And, because I still am a girl in my 20s, I'm eagerly anticipating Emily Giffin's new book, Where We Belong.  I love some good chick-lit too.

 I hope you each had a good year, and I promise to keep my good vibes for good vibes deal if you do.

Christmas Time!

Well here we are; it's Christmas time again.  This year has flown by!  I can't believe I've already been at the firm for almost a year.  Time flies when you're busy I suppose.

Back in high school, I used to always go to the Christmas Eve service with my parents at our church in Frisco (Faithbridge Presbyterian).  As I got better at the saxophone, I'd also play a Christmas solo or two of some sort during the service, wedged between any Bible verses I'd read.  That usually necessitated rummaging through all of my solo books mid-December trying to find the book of Christmas solos, having one or two practices with the piano player, and then it was lights, camera, action.  My senior year, there was a middle school girl who played the clarinet who also wanted to play a solo for the Christmas Eve service.  I had a book of B-flat solos from my soprano sax, so I lent her that so she could pick one to play.  I can't remember what she chose, I think "O Come all ye Faithful" or some other song in a major key that has happy upbeat chords.

I didn't get to hear her practice, but when it was lights camera action I remember wondering if she was playing the same song as the piano player.  Whatever she had practiced had morphed into "O Come all ye Faithful" in E-minor or something, because every chord was dark and every harmony with the piano was about half a step from where it needed to be.  Poor tuning will get the best of us.  Poor gal powered through but I remember looking around and seeing some of the slightly alarmed faces in the crowd.  For some reason my Mom (who witnessed the whole thing) found my account highly hilarious, and to this day when I say "Christmas songs in E-minor", she gets a good laugh.

A new frontier...

I love a good deal.  I'm a firm believer in the power of Target, and if you can brave the throngs of poorly dressed, badly groomed folks, a good Wal-Mart deal.  Today, however, I discovered something new.  A place I had never been.  A shopping experience I had yet to conquer.  Ladies and gents....I went to...

I don't know what made me try it.  But I did.  Oh my God.  Literally everything is a dollar.  They're not lying.  And it wasn't just random brands like Larry's Dish Soap or Donna's Toothpaste.  They had Dawn!  For a dollar!  To me, nothing is more annoying than spending money on necessities like dish soap, paper towels, or laundry detergent.  They're not fun like books, shoes, or Apple accesories.  So if I can get that crap for a dollar, I'm on this train.  And the seasonal stuff!  Along with household necessities, I loathe spending money on Christmas wrapping paper, boxes, or gift bags.  No one cares if you spent 6 dollars on an intricately made Christmas box for the office party cookies.  At least I don't.  I want the cookies.  The day after Christmas all you see mounds of discarded paper, bags, and boxes in mountains of black trash bags that the trash guys adore.  So, back to the moral of this story.  Who has two thumbs and loves the Dollar Tree?  This girl.  I should get that on a shirt.  I could probably even buy the materials to make the shirt AT the Dollar Tree.  It's a cycle of inexpensive winning. 

I'll be sure to keep you updated on my Dollar Tree winnings.  I call them winnings because when you spend a dollar for a 5-dollar tube of toothpaste, you're essentially winning it.

A walk down memory lane...

Here I am.  Whee. 

For those that don't know, our sweet family puppy Katie drifted off into eternal sleep on Monday.  She was nearly 16 years old, and had been struggling with a lot of joint pain lately, as well a just a general deterioration of quality of life.  I had known things weren't going too well over the weekend last weekend, so when my cell rang at lunchtime on Monday and it was Mom, I immediately knew why she was calling.  Mom said she was very brave, and didn't get the normal car ride jitters when she thinks she's going to the vet.  Despite the fact I knew it was coming sooner rather than later, and knowing full well what a great life she'd had, I was still surprised by my reaction.  Fortunately I was at home and I was able to get all the crying out in the comfort of my living room.  I couldn't imagine hearing that in my office.  Also fortunately, I have two pretty cool dogs of my own who immediately came to make sure I was ok.  Truman put his head in my lap and Cherry just sat quietly behind him.  Man I love my dogs.

Anyway, I have a giant box of old pictures that I decided to look through because I knew it would have pictures of Katie that I could post as a last "love you" to my sweet little girl.  I also found some gems along the way.  The quality of these pics is suspect at best because, well, they're old.  I'm sure you'll survive.

 Grand Theft Auto hooker walk anyone?

 Katie and Dad in our Frisco yard.  He looked confused even then.  ;)

 Leah has always loved pictures of herself.  LOVED.

I think this was an Easter party at KB (then KT's) house.

Country girl night- Trail Dust and dancing.  My definition of country girl was putting my hair in braided pigtails.  Try to resist.

My girl!

Probably one of my favorite pictures of her.  

"Singing along" to my saxophone.

:)

 Christmas Eve 2002 I believe.  She was so stylish with her festive bandanna.

We look good.

I loved that little dog.  And, I love all my friends in these pics who I am fortunate to still count among my best friends.  

Threat Level Midnight

In case any of you are not Office fans, the title of this entry is a shoutout to Michael Scott's epic thriller spy movie. It pertains to me for reasons I'm about to outline, so I'll only keep you in suspense for a minute.

Last week, I had a hearing in Waco.  (I know, meh).  My morning started when I woke up around 4am and left the house at 4:45am to drive to St. Louis.  Considering the ridiculous prices of checking a bag on any airline not called Southwest, I loaded my carry-on sized suitcase to the brim with everything but my computer bag and headed for security. 

I get up to the line, show my ID and boarding pass (the first time a boarding pass of mine has read Nicole Evans!), and begin the assembly line process of unloading all my bags, belts, shoes, and organs into the plastic tubs to go through the scanner.  I get through and start to take my stuff back when I notice that the conveyor belt has stopped and a small crowd of TSA folk has gathered to look at something on the belt.  With my suitcase not in sight, I assume that I'm about to get busted for not taking out every small bottle of liquid and putting it in a ziplock bag.  A TSA guy comes over and asks if he can look through my bag, and I politely oblige.  It definitely wasn't my liquids they were concerned with.

Apparently I have not used this suitcase at all since we moved to Columbia because as he's searching through the pockets he unzips one of the outer front pockets and pulls out....

Oops...that's funny there isn't it.  Right?  No?



My immediate reaction was to exclaim "Oh my gosh how did that get there!"  He said "I don't know- this is your bag."  Awkward.  I mean, this drill bit was a good foot long.  I literally didn't even know I owned something like that.  We don't even have a drill that will fit that!  (At least I don't think...I rarely have reason to use industrial tools).  I felt like what I'd imagine teenage boys feel like when their parents find porn on the family computer.  My face flushed scarlet and I started apologizing profusely while proclaiming over and over that I wasn't a terrorist, which did nothing to disinterest the small crowd of people that had stopped to watch this unfold, and the other small crowd of people that were waiting for me to move the hell out of the way so they could go on.  I got a few "you're so stupid" looks from some seasoned travelers.  After spending what felt like days trying to apologize and explain my way out of this, the TSA guy cracked a small smile and said I was ok.  He would just take the offending object and send my bag back through.  I hope TSA enjoys their new industrial-strength drill bit.  I probably won't miss it since it was in that bag unnoticed for who knows how long.

I arrived safely in Dallas and picked up my sweet rental to drive to Waco.  I will say that, as one accustomed to renting cars the size of toys, I was impressed by my rental.  Every time I rent a car I have that moment of panic where I envision every possible fiasco that can happen because I didn't opt for the extra insurance policy.  This one was no different, but I put my faith in myself and I-35/Dallas drivers and headed off.  I will say that I-35 hasn't changed since I last drove it in my college days.  It's still and gridlocked, construction riddled death trap.  Anyhoo, I knocked out my hearing and picked up my favorite drink accessory ever- HEB jumbo straws, and headed back to Dallas (while fighting the urge to hop on Highway 6 South and head to the homeland).  While I was tooling along the highway headed north, I approached this hideously old and beat up looking Jalopy (Grapes of Wrath anyone?) pulling an even more hideous and beat up looking trailer with random paint buckets and boards rattling around inside.  I didn't like the looks of this situation, so I sped up and quickly passed him.  Good thing, because just as the trunk of my car cleared the front bumper of his truck, one of his trailer wheels, yes, the WHOLE WHEEL tire and all, came flying off, bounced across the left lane where I had just been, hit the concrete barrier in the median, and bounced back across the entire northbound highway.  The truck quickly pulled off into the grass and EVERYONE behind it had to stop to avoid the unpredictable and crazy bouncing wheel.  While watching this unfold in my rearview mirror I silently thanked my lucky stars and felt relieved that even though my faith in I-35 drivers was misplaced, my faith in my own driving abilities isn't.  So there.

Following my day of adventures, I settled in to a lovely dinner with lovely friends.  It's always nice to see everyone, and my goodness how the babies have grown! 

It did take me over an hour to get to my hotel in Bedford from Frisco because of the damn construction on 121 near the airport.  Curse you road improvements!  I was so frustrated I was near tears because EVERY single road was blocked off.  To passing motorists I probably appeared to have a severe case of Tourettes because I was just yelling at the road signs telling me I couldn't go where I needed to.  I'd be driving along some back road trying to get to the highway a different way and in the blink of an eye without warning I'd approach road barriers and my plan would be thwarted.  I pretty much immediately passed out when I got to my hotel, and after a long trip home Friday, slept VERY well Friday night. 

And that's that.  Toodles.

Man (and Woman's) Best Friend

You probably all know I'm an avid dog lover.  I grew up with dogs, and I have my own fur babies now.  First was Jenni, the delightful little fur ball of a Bichon.  I loved her as my first pet, but I think she was a bit wary of me from my toddler years when I'd pull her ears to get her attention, or any number of other childhood offenses.  It was a sad day when we took Jenni to the vet and said our goodbyes, and a big stone in our Ontario backyard still marks her final resting place. 

A few years later came Katie, another beloved Bichon. 

I begged and pleaded to get her, promising I would dutifully walk and feed her, and never let her be starved for attention.  I did some of the things I promised.  Mom picked up my slack.  Katie was my pal, my little white mass of furry love.  She pissed me off sometimes (I don't think I've ever been so mad at her as when she tore apart a Christmas present I had wrapped to resemble the Virgin Mary, with a tennis ball she obviously wanted serving as the head).  But, she made for endless laughs when I was growing up, and she's my little fur sister.

You guys know ALL about Truman and Cherry.  Anyway, a few weeks ago I stumbled across an article that made my cry in my office. 

Hawkeye

I was truly touched and amazed to see the picture of that beautiful dog paying his final respects to the man he loved more than anyone.  I read the original story on a different site, and I was struck by the comments.  Most mentioned how heart-wrenching the picture was, but a few caught me off-guard.  The comments were to the tune of "Who cares about dogs?  People get so worked up over a dog."   Boy did that get me fired up.  I'm obviously pretty passionate about dogs, and I get the occasional weird look from people when I talk about how much I love them and how they are equally a part of my family as any human.  I say this to anyone who questions the value of dogs, and I'll say it now:

Dogs are what humans should be.  Remarkably happy, unflinchingly loyal, unconditionally loving, endlessly patient, and forever trusting.  Dogs see the good in everyone- pretty, ugly, smart, dumb- a dog will be by your side. Not to mention they're just plain funny.  They can inspire side-splitting, snort-inducing (at least for me) laughter that rivals any joke or story someone could tell me.  Anyone that questions the value of dogs will clearly never live up to what humans should mirror in them. 

As Katie nears the sunset of her 15 1/2 years on this Earth, I can't help but to feel blessed that she was my dog.  She was my friend.  She chased me around the house and the yard as I dissolved into a fit of giggles.  She rested patiently at the foot of the couch when I was home sick from school.  She worked herself into such a state of excitement everyday when I got home that her whole body would shake with her tail.  She couldn't get in enough doggy kisses.  And, most importantly, she nestled her head into my lap any time I cried and sat it out with me, never growing bored, never expecting anything of me. 

Truman and Cherry do the same.  Which is why I love them.  And that's why I'll always be a dog lover, and I will never understand someone who can't see how amazing they really are.

So to sum up, dog-haters can suck it.

Mamajuana anyone?

Mamajuana being this highly potent alcoholic drink native to the Dominican Republic.  They don't let you bring it to America.  It's quite intense.

Ok yes, we got back from our honeymoon about three weeks ago.  I'M SORRY.  I fail.  To be honest, I'm still not 100% caught up at work, but I'm getting there.  I have decided that I'm never going on vacation again.  I had about 120 emails when I got back.  Sigh.  Our honeymoon, however, was fantastic!

Here are some pics-

 

On the bus headed to the hotel.

 

Our welcome drink while we waited for our room to be ready.

 

I used the life out of that jacuzzi.  Afternoon bath everyday?  Why not...it's my honeymoon!

 

Our beautiful room.  Everyday had a new towel creation, courtesy of our maid.

 

Pool view from our balcony.  The ocean is just off to the left.

 

I pretty much always had some sort of vodka drink when we were in the room.  And we brought the rum home.  Caribbean rum is where it's at.

 

Walk on the beach the first evening.  One of the few pics of both of us, courtesy of a lady walking on the beach.

 

Love this lil guy!

 

Manny the cute sea lion.  I called him Truman while we were there.

 

 Manny kiss!

 

 This isn't Photoshopped.  The dolphin actually jumped over me.  Pardon my lack of paying attention to the guy taking the pics.  I was too excited.

 

Zip-lining through the jungles.  This was so much fun.  Hi Scott!

 

As you can see, the camera was hooked through my helmet.  So, these are the kind of pics I got of myself

 

Here comes Scott again!

 

The vantage point all week for me and my finger-toes.

 

Loved long afternoons reading on the beach.  :)

 

Snorkeling in the waters off our resort beached turned out to be one of our favorite things.

 

Dinner the last night.

 

Our home-bound airplane.

 

Bye bye Punta Cana.  

I obviously took quite a few more pictures, but these are some of the highlights.  We really had a great time.  I burnt my shoulders to a crisp day one on the beach (as did Scott), so we took that as an opportunity to take it easy most of the week. We'd do an excursion one morning (dolphins one day, zip-lining another), and then come back and relax with a fruity drink by the beach or pool.  We also took advantage of the food choices, eating at least once at all the restaurants.  My faves were the Japanese Hibachi Grill and Asadito Steakhouse.  Sometimes we'd have lunch and then go to the buffet just for ice cream.  What of it?

We made a few friends throughout the week at the resort.  We'd run into this other honeymooning couple almost every night at the lobby bar, so we'd chat with them before and after dinner.  We played in a poker tournament on Tuesday night.  I think it started with 19 players, so not a big tourney, but the top 3 made the money.  I finished 3rd- holla!  I knocked out some peeps, including my own husband.  People called me ruthless.  I call it winning.  We played in the tourney Friday night too, and in that one Scott made the money so that was nice.  The best part- having NOTHING to do most days.  We just did whatever we wanted.  Nap on the beach?  Sure.  Ice cream at noon?  Hell yea.  Sit at the swim-up bar for a few hours?  Yes.  Sleep 'til 11 or noon?  We've got nothing else to do!  It was, to use an unnecessary adjective, sublime.  

Anyway, I'll leave you with this.  Much love all my blogger monsters!

 

L

Love the beach!

Toes in the water, ass in the sand...

Our honeymoon is less than 3 weeks away!  Punta Cana, here come the Evans...es?  I'm not familiar with pluralizing names that end in 's'.  It's not really my specialty yet. 

We are all booked and ready!  Seven nights at Majestic Elegance Punta Cana, all-inclusive, cannot wait!  In preparing for my adventure, I was reminded of a beach experience so long ago...

It was the summer of 2002, I was a wee 17-year old lass when Ratch invited me to go to Gulf Shores with her family for a fun beach vacation.  I said "uh, heck yes."  So off we went, on a very long drive.  Made a wee bit longer by SOMEONE who had just gotten his learner's permit and went 50 down the highway.  ;) 

So, we get there, and we immediately set off on beach adventures.  One such beach adventure that I was introduced to was night-time crab hunting.  As described to me, you get a flashlight, go out, and watch the lil crabs make their trek across the beaches before retreating into their crab holes.  Do crabs live in holes?  I don't know, but they go somewhere.  I feel like Snooki right now with my general earth knowledge, but whatever.  Anyway, I had this vision in my head of all these Sebastian look-alike crabs skittering along the sand, looking up at me with little Caribbean accents-"Pardone Madame, but eeuuu are een dee way of my crab hole."

Or, if it's a high-strung crab-

 "No, madame, eeuu are stepping een dee crab hole!"

Imagine my horror when I learned that the crabs on the beach weren't cute little Sebastian types, but practically iridescent WHITE crabs.  How are you supposed to see them in the WHITE sand?!  They are naturally camouflaged.  I guess point for evolution because they hide brilliantly.  I was not pleased.  In a fairly anti-climatic end to this story, I didn't last long.  I wonder if the crabs in the Dominican Republic look like Sebastian.  I hope so.  

I anxiously await being able to update my blog about my trip.  I promise.  

Oooookkkk.

I am status post lecture from Leah about my lack of updates (do you like my ability to mix in medical lingo??  I did that for you). 

I was completely unaware it had been almost two weeks since I last posted.  I guess I've been busy.  I'm quite relieved that it's Friday.  I had a busy week of hearings, meetings, and a brief due today.  Let's see...July 4th happened since I last wrote!  We grilled brats and corn with some yummy red potato salad (my favorite) as we watched baseball.  Then, around dusk, we walked over to the field near our house (which also happens to butt up to the ledge where Mizzou Arena and Faurot Field are).  The fireworks in Columbia were being shot off from the stadium parking lots, so we had a great view from our own neighborhood.  We took the dogs over, and it was just a big block party. 

I suppose we didn't really think the dog situation through.  They were fine, until the actual fireworks started.  At that point, Cherry lost it, and somehow wiggled out of her collar.  Once she was free she TOOK off running full speed back toward our house.  I sent Scott after her while I tried to wrangle Truman, who while not as panicked, was slowly making his way further and further into the brush off the walking trail.  My efforts to pull him OUT of the brush were useless, so I just sat there watching fireworks holding what looked like a leash to nowhere.  Once the fireworks started to pick up, Truman became more interested in leaving, so we started making our way back, all the while I was hoping Scott could find our little Usain Bolt safe and sound.  I came down our street to find him standing in the driveway.  Fortunately, all was well and Cherry had found her way home!  I've always heard dogs know, and I've seen the stories too, and Cherry did also.  Well, she was a BIT off, as she ended up in the bushes of a backyard across the street.  But still, pretty impressive!  Also impressive was that she literally jumped the fence to that yard to seek shelter. 

I went inside to find her under the guest bed, which has even less wiggle room than the space under our bed.  Every time she heard the faintest hint of a boom, she took refuge.   That included while I was showering, when she heard one and felt like she'd be safest IN the shower with me.  We've beefed up shower security since the last time she pulled the plastic hooks down, but this time she just pulled the whole tension rod out of place.  So, conditioner-filled hair and all, I had to remove her from the bath area, fix the curtain, and continue my shower.  When I got out, she was sitting in the closet.  Needless to say, celebrating America isn't really her thing.  At least celebrating America loudly, because she seemed to be happy to celebrate when it meant scraps of hot dog.  Oh well.  Two consecutive July 4th freak-outs.  I think we'll spare her coming with us next year.  If only we could find doggy ear plugs in time...

And with that, I'm off to enjoy my weekend! 

I suck at this!

Ok, so a LOT has happened since I last posted.  My apologies for being such a terrible blogger. 

Since I last updated approximately two years ago, I suppose the biggest thing that happened was my wedding.  Yes interwebs world, I'm a married woman now.  I'm the old ball and chain.  The day was amazing.  For starters, it had rained pretty much all week, so I was dreading the possibility that it would rain on my wedding day.  I've heard it's good luck and blah blah blah.  I had a outside wedding.  Rain is NOT compatible with that.  Anyway, everyone came in for the most part on Friday, so we could have an impromptu bachelorette party.  Poor Sami and Ratch had their flight(s) canceled, so they DROVE to get here.  I was so upset that they had to go through all that but felt so blessed that they didn't even hesitate to jump in the car and get here by whatever means necessary.  If the car broke down they probably would have hitch-hiked!  Through this whole process, I was able to really see how truly lucky I am to have such amazing friends. Everyone who came made sacrifices and did so much to be there, and it meant so much to me. 

All the girls in town on Friday joined me for my bachelorette dinner and party.  (Shout-out to Leah for paying for my dinner- THANK YOU!)  We had a yummy dinner at Addison's and then made our way to Trops and the Piano Bar.  I didn't pay for a drink that night, and everyone went out of their way to make it special for me.  I had such a great time, and I was so happy that my work friends made it out too!

Saturday, we woke up to SUN!  No rain in sight!  It was literally a perfect day.  Warm, sunny, and just a hint of a breeze.  We made our way to the salon and got ready (Genesis Salon did an AMAZING job!), and had just enough time at the hotel to change before it was off to the winery!  We got there just as everyone was being directed outside for the ceremony.

Not wanting to keep anyone from getting a new drink, we kept it short and sweet.  Seven minutes from the time the first bridesmaid walked down the aisle to when we kissed.  We know how to make it happen.  After the ceremony, everyone enjoyed drinks and appetizers while we all mingled.  After that the wedding party took off for pictures while the other guests got to take a rest.  Then, dinner time!  Dinner was at the top of the Tiger Hotel, catered by Bleu Restaurant.  It was delicious.  So perfect.  Cake was delicious, drinks were yummy, and then it was on to the afterparty. 

Tonic Lounge was the site of the evening debauchery.  Shots were flowing, everyone had a drink in their hands at all times, and it was a blast.  A perfect evening for a perfect day.  Some got VERY drunk.  That entertained me.  You know who you are ;)

So, in light of the great day, I want to say thank you.  Thank you to my parents (and Scott's parents), for everything you did for our day.  Thank you to my Mom for every little detail she remembered.  Everything she did helped to make the day even better, and I'm so grateful for her thoughtfulness and insight.

Thank you to everyone who came.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.  And a special thanks to all my friends that traveled from Texas to be here.  It means more to me than you know.  To my bridal party, you guys are the shiz.  Leah- you did SO much for me.  You did everything to make me feel special, and I can't tell you how much I appreciated you being there.  Kelly- it wouldn't be the same day without my Aggie partner in crime.  Hopefully our bowl trip this year is somewhere exciting ;)  Ratch- what can I say.  Anything I could say here you already know.  I love ya. Sami- what can I say?  Again, I'm at a loss for how to best express what you mean to me and how much I appreciate everything you did for me.  I love all of you, and I'll always remember my wedding day and the friends who were a part of it. 

I'll post some pictures soon.  But, there are some on Facebook that you've probably all seen.  And, I will make diligent efforts to not suck at blogging anymore.  BYE!

Rabbits and MacGyver

And, I return.  It's been a wee bit.  I would apologize for my lack of posting, but odds are I'll probably just turn around and not post for another several weeks.

Now, I've probably been responsible for a fair share of small "roadkill" deaths in my day.  I remember once I was driving home from a friend's house in College Station and I hit a possum, and I actually pulled over to see if he was ok.  Obviously, he wasn't.  It's hard to come back from having your insides on your outside.  I didn't realize at the time that possums are assholes, so it was no big deal.  I know I've been the culprit of some other roadkill hit and runs also, but I have never killed a rodent with my bare teeth and sheer curiosity.  But, as of about two weeks ago, my dog has.  I'll let you guess which one...

 


You knew it wasn't going to be Truman.  Anyway, I'm just sitting at work getting stuff done when I get a text from Scott that Cherry found a rabbit in the backyard.  I think "out how cute."  Then I get the text that she not only found a rabbit, but she proceeded to grab it in the vice grip of her mouth and was refusing to let it go.  I'm still not convinced that the situation is as dire as Scott is making it sound, so I just go on about my business.  It's not until later that I fully understand the situation.  Not only did she catch a rabbit, but she then proceeded to whip her hair back and forth with the rabbit still locked firmly in her jaw.  Despite repeated attempts by Scott to remove the poor animal from her mouth, she won't let go.  This reminds me of an oddly similar situation involving a decrepit pigeon at the dog park in St. Louis (see said entry somewhere else in this sparkling blog).  Anyway, finally he essentially beats Bugs Bunny out of her mouth, and he has clearly suffered grave injury.  Without a firm plan, he throws the rabbit into the sink, out of the reach of the beast.  He then takes a shoe box that had previously been occupied by a fantastic pair of leopard print stilettos, and runs back into the kitchen, where he discovers that (SHOCK) cats are interested in rabbits.  Evie, who hates everything and everyone, is standing on the counter batting at the rabbit, who can barely move.  He throws Bugs into the shoebox and races off to the vet school, and texts me on the way.  In the rush of the moment he completely forgot to even let Truman in the house.  While he's on his way, I get a text that he's taking the Bugs to the vet.  I immediately picture intensive rabbit surgery.

I got this picture from a well-respected medical journal on rabbit medicine.  Or, I googled 'rabbit surgery' and this is what showed up.

I fire back that I not be responsible for the cost of saving some random rabbit.  It's harsh, but someone has to be the reasonable one.  Turns out, there was no saving Bugs.  He was humanely relieved of his time on earth, and went to kick it with all our favorite household pets.  And so, Cherry is a murderer.  

Cherry also somehow locked herself in the guest room one afternoon while Scott and I were out a few Saturdays ago.  I'm not simply talking about closing the door on herself.  I mean she actually managed to turn the small door lock on the door knob.  We get home and I go to let her out of confinement, where she spends her days when we're not home because she cannot be trusted to not eat everything in our home, and the door is locked.  So...we're not sure what to do.  Our first obvious thought was to check the window to see if somehow we were stupid enough to leave one of the front windows of our home completely unlocked and accessible from the outdoors.  Unfortunately, we aren't stupid so that window was firmly locked.  Next plan, the credit card in the latch.  This plan worked back when I was in college and we needed to break into the spare room in our apartment after our insane 3rd roommate moved out.  This time, no luck.  All I succeeded in doing was bending my Sam's Club card beyond recognition, and our dog was still locked in the bedroom.  

So I then decide to use the paper clip in the little "keyhole".  This entire time I'm not even sure what I'm doing, and for all I know I'm just locking the door even more.  The keyhole idea fails too, so I decide to try to pop off the brass plate on the door handle to see if there's something doing there.  Nothing.  Google provides no answers that I haven't already tried, which is unfortunate since Google is my life manual.  After about 30 minutes and me being on the verge of having Scott kick in the door, I decide to stick the paperclip in behind the brass plate one more time.  I start jabbing the paperclip around behind the door handle and all the sudden I hear a click and SHE'S FREE!  The door opens like nothing ever happened.  Despite what was a traumatic experience for the humans in the house, Cherry has no idea what is going on, and is sitting contently on the floor chewing a bone.  

You can just call me the house MacGyver.  Or Jack Bauer.  Or HERO.

In my few seconds of searching, this picture is the closest to me looking crafty.  Or like a soaking wet ghostbuster.  Whatever.

And so concludes another episode of my dog is a moron.  Until next time, I bid you farewell.

Worst Bride. Ever.

So, our wedding has been completely revamped.  Don't be offended if you don't get an invite, almost no one is.  We cut it down to immediate family, the original wedding party, and a few close friends who almost made the wedding party cut.  Keep in mind that we plan on making some trips in the near future to reconnect and celebrate with those who didn't come to the wedding.  The choice wasn't because we didn't want to celebrate with everyone, we just didn't want to bust our budget on a huge wedding, when we could have a small affair and save some money for what matters- the marriage.  (Yes, I did just feel that spurt of daisies come out my butt).  I'm not one for sappy, but I'm most looking forward to being married to my guy and building on the life we have already started.  So, anyhoo, that's that.

I did get a dress and shoes, finally.  Way to cut it close, I know.  It was actually Scott who convinced me to even go into the store.  I knew that I'd have to get a sample dress close to my size and alter it, because I wouldn't have enough time to order one.  I wasn't sure what I'd find, so I was shocked when I got into the store and saw THE dress that I had wanted so long ago, in my size, sitting on the clearance rack.  I tried it on, and it was close enough to fitting (with alterations, we'll be set!), so I bought it.  And the shoes the stylist brought me to try on with the dress.  The price as new?  Probably over $1000. What I paid?  $165.  For both.  As Charlie Sheen would say..."winning." So, check that off the list.

Invitations?  Check, thanks to my lovely parents.  I'm honestly excited to see one in person because I have not yet.  Mom is mailing me an invitation to my own wedding, so I'll have a chance then.  (As I've said several times, nothing would be planned without the amazing organization and planning of Scott and my parents).

Plans for the day?  Check, thanks to Scott.  (We've got a lot of checks going on!)  The ceremony will be on a bluff-top overlooking the Missouri River at a winery about 15 minutes from Columbia.  Please no rain!  I haven't asked for a lot with this wedding, but I do ask for nice weather.  We'll also have some cocktails at the ceremony for people to enjoy before and after.  Later that evening we're having a dinner reception at the Tiger Hotel catered by a restaurant downtown.  It will be a mini version of our original reception, complete with table linens and all.  After that, we have the Tonic Lounge downtown reserved for an after-party, where everyone can drink and dance the night away.  It's a bit unconventional, but I think it will be laid back and fun. 

Cake and flowers?  Check.  Shout-out to the Hy-Vee Bakery (no one better judge, because I bet it's going to be damn good).  And, shout-out to Sam's Club.  Yes, you heard right, Sam's does flower packages, and pretty good ones too.  Considering our small affair, I didn't think spending gobs on flowers was advisable.

Photography?  Check.  Shoutout to Alex Giddings.  He rocks, and I'm quite excited to see what he does.

Music?  Still working on that one...please hold.

Anyway, as you can see, it's starting to come together, and no thanks to my initiative.  That's why I love my parents and my fiance.  I cannot wait to see all my closest friends and show them my life here.  :)

Anyhoo, in other news, here are some new pictures of the beasts.

 Ok, so this isn't a beast, but he looked so cold in the snow I had to snap a pic.

My lovable hot mess.

Based on how wise he always looks in pictures, you'd think he was intelligent.  You'd think wrong.

The rest of these are pics from one of our many Snowmageddon play dates.

 I love his weird faces.

I'm sure you've all read this...

But I came across it again and had to share.  Makes me laugh every time!

Doggie Diary Entry:

• 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
• 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
• 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
• 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
• 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
• 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
• 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
• 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
• 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
• 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
• 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary Entry:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .

George Gets a Bath

So, I don't know if anyone was aware, but it's been a rather cold and messy winter.  So much so that George hasn't been washed in almost 2 months.  For those who don't know me, George is my Jeep.  Remember that.  Anyway, for quite some time George had been covered in a thin sheath of dried salt remnants and winter dirt.  It had been in the 60s lately, so I decided it was a good time to maybe get that stuff off, since it's apparently bad for cars or something.  Anyway, on my lunch break earlier this week I decided to stop by Tiger Wash and give George some soapy love!  I pull up and convince myself that I will NOT be the sucker that buys the most expensive wash because it has fancy features like "foam soak" and "hot wax rinse" and "Armorall polish."  I'm such a sucker for extra features.  Anyway, I'm firmly set in my mid-level wash.  That is, until the attendant mentions that if I buy the super fancy wash I get a free SCRATCH-OFF ticket that has great prizes!  At those little words, my resolve melts away as I envision the possibilities on the little scratch-off card.  So, I cave in.  I feel guilty for a second, but it's only a 5-dollar difference, and the oopsy is quickly replaced by my child-like excitement about pulling into the little tire track thing where I can sit back and enjoy and ride.  I remember in high school, I went to a car wash and I was SO distraught when I had to get out of the car and watch from inside the waiting room.  What's the fun of the car wash if you can't even sit in the car?!  Anyway, I slowly roll through the spraying jets and multi-colored foam and swirling jets, and, yes, even at 26 years old I still eagerly anticipate each new phase.  Pre-soak?  Ooo.  Pressure tire wash?!  Awesome.  Shine foam brushing?!  Sounds tingly.  Hot wax treatment?! George looks so clean!  

 I get through the high-powered dryer (which by the way, is quite similar to those new-age hand dryers in bathrooms that I honestly believe are going to rip the skin off my hands), and drive over to the vacuum area.  Another thing about winter, it makes the floor of your car ridiculously disgusting.  So I get out and yank the vacuum hose out of its suction tube and get to work.  But, I don't get far.  I open my back right passenger door, and am shocked to see that my back seat is SOAKING WET.  I'm talking seats soaked, the coat in the seats soaked, puddles on the floor, in my cupholders, and in the little handle on my door.  What. The. Hell.  I'm immediately pissed that the seal on my window is obviously defective.  That's the only logical explanation.  Until I realize that my back right window is open just a little bit.  Obviously enough to create complete chaos in the backseat.  How does that happen?  (1) Why is the window open?!  It's WINTER!  It's been in single digits for the vast majority of the past month.  What reason could I possibly have for opening my window?  And (2)...how did I not notice the perfect storm of thrashing water, soap, and wax going on back there?  What if I had a kid?  And I washed it too because I wasn't paying attention?  I mean I know babies need baths too, but I don't think high-pressure washers and hot foam is the way to go.  So I've heard.  I don't have kids, but I know I don't often see them being wheeled through car washes.

Despite the fact I highly doubt the car wash vacuums are meant to dry cars, or anything else, I am able to get most of the water out of the back seat and off my coat.  And, I haven't noticed anything wrong since it dried!  But, I will always make sure my windows are CLOSED from now on.  You should as well.  And that's my tip of the day.

Lately...

Ok, loyal reader(s), I'm back in business.  I've had a wee bit going on lately.  First of all, we packed up our trendy, chic downtown loft and set up shop in a less trendy, but far more comfortable and convenient 3 bedroom house in Columbia.  We're renting for a bit while we look for a house to (hopefully) purchase this year.  Big doings going on here!  We're also getting married at some point.  Those details are still a bit hazy since my new job took over my life.  It's unfortunate for those of you with Blogger Fever (far less severe than Bieber Fever from what I understand), that I spend that majority of my days doing things that I can't broadcast over the interwebs, much less really talk about at all.  Suffices to say I've REALLY enjoyed my first few weeks, and I'm excited to continue learning and getting better. We've also had SnowMYGOD take over Columbia.  Over two feet dropped, with giant snow drifts that our poor doggies fell into.  It was quite the mess.  That was 2 weeks ago.  Today it was 73 degrees.  Talk about a swing.

But that's not why I'm writing.  Today is the second installment of Animal Control: Columbia.  I could fill up at least a show with my antics.  Today it wasn't a half-dead bat, but a completely live and rambunctious dog.  Scott called me when I was on my way home to inform me that there was a friendly-looking female dog sniffing around our yard.  When I got home, we went to find her because she had wandered off down the street.  She didn't have a collar or tags, so we put her in the backyard, and Scott leaves to go study for the bar.  I make the call to friendly animal control, and discover this dog (who by the way looks like she literally just had surgery and babies- she has parts of her body shaved and huge dog droopy dog boobs) has not been put on any lost dog lists in the city.  She asks me if I want to have someone come pick her up, and I say sure.  So I call Scott, and he doesn't want to do that because he wants to give it some time and report the dog found so I call Debbie at animal control back to tell her I was just joking, and I have her fill out a "found dog" report, and I agree to keep the dog overnight.  At this point, Floppy Teats (that's how I've decided to refer to her) has started barking uncontrollably in the back yard.  She had already eaten (which included spilling food ALL over the porch and eating it like it was trying to run away from her), and had some water, so the only thing left to do (obviously) is get Truman and Cherry to a state of extreme excitement.  She's barking and pawing at the sliding glass door with such intensity that I'm concerned she might have an aneurysm.  I go outside to try and calm her down and she just starts jumping all over me with her muddy paws on my work clothes.  She jumps up, and I reach to push her down to sit and she tries to bite me!  What a bitch.  Here I am trying to feed her and find her home and she goes and mouths off to me.  I don't put up with things trying to bite me...dogs or otherwise.  So I call Debbie...again, and tell her what just happened.  She recommends that animal control comes to get the dog just to be safe.  Shortly after the phone call ended, the incessant barking and pawing led me to take Floppy Teats to the garage.  That required me trying to lasso her like I was an effing cowgirl in my own ridiculous "business casual" rodeo because (a) she doesn't have a collar, (b) she won't sit still for me to slip the leash over her head, and (c) I'm foolishly still wearing my clothes from work, including stilettos.  I finally wrangle her into the leash and lead her in, which leads to sheer chaos inside because I had also brilliantly forgotten to put my own dogs somewhere so they couldn't mess with Floppy Teats.  Fortunately it's all excited and friendly chaos and I lead Floppy Teats to the garage, where Cherry takes initiative for herself and takes off out the door into the garage, where I've left the door open for some reason.  So Cherry is now running around the yard and Floppy Teats is literally about to choke herself trying to join.  I decide to worry about Cherry later so I pull Floppy Teats back into the garage and close the door.  I then manage to squeeze back inside and go try to find my actual dog.  Lucky for me she's actually waiting by the front door.  So we wait patiently for the animal control guy, all the while Floppy Teats is pretty much about to break down the garage door trying to get inside.  Finally a guy who barely looks old enough to drive shows up and Floppy Teats runs to him as soon as I open the garage door for him.  She actually jumps excitedly into the back of his truck.  He explains to me that Floppy Teats will be brought to the Humane Society, where they will try to find her owners by posting her as found.  If no one claims her, they will try to prepare her for adoption.  I ask him about the biting and he says that's something that will have to be considered while they try to train her.  That prognosis sounds far better than my poor half-dead bat buddy Bruce Wayne.  She seems like a sweet dog, I just didn't know how to handle her energy, especially around my already ridiculously hyper dogs.  So, my hope is that Floppy Teats finds either her current home, or if she doesn't have one, I hope she finds a new home. 

The End.

On the road again...

Pretty soon I'll have to change the name of my whole blog, because I won't be in St. Louis anymore!  At 4:54pm the Thursday before I left for Dallas, I got the phone call that had been eluding me for the better part of a year.  I got a real life, full-on big girl job.  Not even A&M's sad loss in the Cotton Bowl could damper my excitement at FINALLY starting my career.  It's been a long time coming, and I'm so excited it's here.  My new career is in Columbia, which means we really should have never left.  But how were we to know?  So, armed with my new job, we set about trying to sort out our move back to Columbia.  We know we want to finally buy a house, but for first-time homebuyers, that it's an overnight process.  We knew we probably couldn't get it done in the few weeks leading up to the move.  Fortunately, a friend in Columbia directed us to a girl we went to school with.  She just got engaged and wanted to move in with her fiance, but had a lease on a house until August.  Enter Nikki and Scott.  We're subleasing from her until her lease is up.  This will give us time to get settled and find our perfect little starter house.  I'm surprised at how well it worked out!  I haven't seen the house yet, but Scott went to look at it.  I know it has 3 bedrooms/2 baths, a 2-car garage and fenced-in yard.  I also know it's a steal, which is good because I didn't want to throw away rent money while we're trying to buy a home.  I've been warned that I will find the kitchen linoleum and kitchen appliances horrid, and that the bedrooms and bathrooms are small.  But, it's not like we have sprawling bathrooms here!  I'm honestly not concerned with the details, because it's not like we're setting up shop for several years here.  This house is a stepping stone to our first real HOME, and I appreciate the fact the the chance to rent it presented itself when we needed it. 

Phase two of our new life- I canceled our huge August wedding.  Well, let me rephrase- Scott and I decided together that the big wedding wasn't the best route for us at this time.  When I booked this stuff last summer, I had no idea it would take us this long to be going in the right direction financially, and it just didn't seem smart to put another huge dent in our money situation for an event that I wasn't even that excited to plan.  I had moments where I got in planning mode, but for the most part I was completely apathetic, and even dreading it.  So, we decided that we wanted a small (SMALL) ceremony with a dinner after.  No fancy linens or overwhelming centerpieces.  No YMCA or Macarena.  Just a small group of people to celebrate a simple and no frills wedding with us.  I think we ended up cutting the guest list from 130 to about 40.  As such, a lot of people that were invited to the original won't be to this one.  I think in lieu of inviting everyone to a huge wedding is we plan to make long-overdue trips to see family and friends we have missed! 

I would just rather have a small ceremony and use the rest of the money to start our lives.  I don't need a huge wedding to prove to people that I love Scott, and vice versa for him.  Hell, my parents got married in my grandparents' backyard and they're going strong after 32 years.  I think the tipping point for me happened when I went to Texas.  Sunday I went with some friends to look at bridesmaid dresses, and while I enjoyed myself, I was having fun mostly because of the people I was with, and not what we were doing.  I just didn't feel the excitement that most brides feel.  Compare that to the next night when I was looking at houses for sale in Columbia.  I was giddy!  That really showed me what was important to me.  So that's that.  If you're not invited to the new wedding, rest assured we WILL find time to come see you and celebrate :)  It doesn't say anything to how important you are to me, it's just a general desire to keep it really small.  And don't worry, we're still going on a honeymoon!


Alright, football is on and it's lunch time.  Love you guys!