George Gets a Bath

So, I don't know if anyone was aware, but it's been a rather cold and messy winter.  So much so that George hasn't been washed in almost 2 months.  For those who don't know me, George is my Jeep.  Remember that.  Anyway, for quite some time George had been covered in a thin sheath of dried salt remnants and winter dirt.  It had been in the 60s lately, so I decided it was a good time to maybe get that stuff off, since it's apparently bad for cars or something.  Anyway, on my lunch break earlier this week I decided to stop by Tiger Wash and give George some soapy love!  I pull up and convince myself that I will NOT be the sucker that buys the most expensive wash because it has fancy features like "foam soak" and "hot wax rinse" and "Armorall polish."  I'm such a sucker for extra features.  Anyway, I'm firmly set in my mid-level wash.  That is, until the attendant mentions that if I buy the super fancy wash I get a free SCRATCH-OFF ticket that has great prizes!  At those little words, my resolve melts away as I envision the possibilities on the little scratch-off card.  So, I cave in.  I feel guilty for a second, but it's only a 5-dollar difference, and the oopsy is quickly replaced by my child-like excitement about pulling into the little tire track thing where I can sit back and enjoy and ride.  I remember in high school, I went to a car wash and I was SO distraught when I had to get out of the car and watch from inside the waiting room.  What's the fun of the car wash if you can't even sit in the car?!  Anyway, I slowly roll through the spraying jets and multi-colored foam and swirling jets, and, yes, even at 26 years old I still eagerly anticipate each new phase.  Pre-soak?  Ooo.  Pressure tire wash?!  Awesome.  Shine foam brushing?!  Sounds tingly.  Hot wax treatment?! George looks so clean!  

 I get through the high-powered dryer (which by the way, is quite similar to those new-age hand dryers in bathrooms that I honestly believe are going to rip the skin off my hands), and drive over to the vacuum area.  Another thing about winter, it makes the floor of your car ridiculously disgusting.  So I get out and yank the vacuum hose out of its suction tube and get to work.  But, I don't get far.  I open my back right passenger door, and am shocked to see that my back seat is SOAKING WET.  I'm talking seats soaked, the coat in the seats soaked, puddles on the floor, in my cupholders, and in the little handle on my door.  What. The. Hell.  I'm immediately pissed that the seal on my window is obviously defective.  That's the only logical explanation.  Until I realize that my back right window is open just a little bit.  Obviously enough to create complete chaos in the backseat.  How does that happen?  (1) Why is the window open?!  It's WINTER!  It's been in single digits for the vast majority of the past month.  What reason could I possibly have for opening my window?  And (2)...how did I not notice the perfect storm of thrashing water, soap, and wax going on back there?  What if I had a kid?  And I washed it too because I wasn't paying attention?  I mean I know babies need baths too, but I don't think high-pressure washers and hot foam is the way to go.  So I've heard.  I don't have kids, but I know I don't often see them being wheeled through car washes.

Despite the fact I highly doubt the car wash vacuums are meant to dry cars, or anything else, I am able to get most of the water out of the back seat and off my coat.  And, I haven't noticed anything wrong since it dried!  But, I will always make sure my windows are CLOSED from now on.  You should as well.  And that's my tip of the day.