These days, kids have all sorts of crap that us 80s and earlier babies didn't. Like multiple styles of Power Wheels Jeeps. You know what I'm talking about. The awesome, battery-powered, midget sized toys that little kids can drive around. Today, there are so many different styles...Hummer, Barbie, Corvette, monster truck, I could go on. In my day, there was either Barbie or regular old red. When I was about 3, I found myself the proud owner of a red Power Wheels Jeep. I remember thinking that I didn't want the Barbie one, because that didn't look like a real car. I wanted something that looked street-legit, so if I went for a toole in the neighborhood, people would think it was a real car ("Hey what's that? Oh my, Nikki got a new car! How fantastic that a 3-year-old can drive a real car!").
Ok, that's obviously not me. But, you get the idea. I could have picked up so many dudes in that ride.
It was also beyond adorable that my dad had an identical, adult-sized red Jeep at the time. We took many a picture with our Jeeps. We were flippin' precious.
Anyway, I had a whole alternate universe worked out in my yard. The front porch was my house, and I had various points throughout the front yard that were stores and things of the like. In the back yard was the amusement park, also known as the swingset, with the swinging monkey bar that would later lead to my broken wrist. (Swinging monkey bars are my arch-nemesis...more another time). I made a lot of trips to the "amusement park" because it was the only imaginary place that was actually a place. Every other place was just a random spot in the yard that I'd walk on while talking to myself.
As for my driving skills, they were serious. The Jeep had two gears...reverse or drive. I was a huge fan of having the Jeep in reverse and then switching to drive without stopping first. I enjoyed the whiplash. Anyway, my cousin came to visit once and he HAD to drive it. I didn't want to share, being an only child and all. But, I caved. After riding around with him when he went slow, even on Power Wheels terms, I showed him what was up. I told him to park it, like one would park in a parking spot. Then I told him to sit down and hold on. (I don't remember the actual conversation because I was 3-4, but I'm sure it was some sort of assertive, intelligent toddler speak). I reversed, and, without taking my foot off the gas, threw it into drive and we took off at the speed of light. He started freaking out pretty much right away. But that didn't stop me. I guess top speed of 5mph was too much to handle because he started crying, and then because I was distracted by his sniffles, I was focused on him and not the yard (distracted driving at an early age!) and I crashed right into the rock circle that enclosed the well in our front yard. He was already crying before that. When I hit the well, he started wailing. I just stared at him like "wtf is your problem?" He took off running into the house, and after that I didn't have to share my Jeep. If you can't handle my style, don't get in my ride.
Anyway, Scott is looking for recliners on Craigslist, and he came across this gem:
Wtf?! SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS! (EDIT: They apparently lowered the price. But I still wouldn't pay 400). Who the hell needs an electric recliner?! Are you seriously so lazy that you can't either a) push back on the cushion, or b) pull the little lever to recline yourself? It looks like a tacky Indian souvenir shop threw up all over it. But, then you see the surroundings in the picture, and it sorta makes sense.
Anyhoo, I hope to update more often once this frickin' test is over.
Here's the picture of the day:
Love our pup!
No comments:
Post a Comment