I'm sure you've all read this...

But I came across it again and had to share.  Makes me laugh every time!

Doggie Diary Entry:

• 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
• 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
• 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
• 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
• 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
• 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
• 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
• 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
• 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
• 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
• 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat Diary Entry:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .

George Gets a Bath

So, I don't know if anyone was aware, but it's been a rather cold and messy winter.  So much so that George hasn't been washed in almost 2 months.  For those who don't know me, George is my Jeep.  Remember that.  Anyway, for quite some time George had been covered in a thin sheath of dried salt remnants and winter dirt.  It had been in the 60s lately, so I decided it was a good time to maybe get that stuff off, since it's apparently bad for cars or something.  Anyway, on my lunch break earlier this week I decided to stop by Tiger Wash and give George some soapy love!  I pull up and convince myself that I will NOT be the sucker that buys the most expensive wash because it has fancy features like "foam soak" and "hot wax rinse" and "Armorall polish."  I'm such a sucker for extra features.  Anyway, I'm firmly set in my mid-level wash.  That is, until the attendant mentions that if I buy the super fancy wash I get a free SCRATCH-OFF ticket that has great prizes!  At those little words, my resolve melts away as I envision the possibilities on the little scratch-off card.  So, I cave in.  I feel guilty for a second, but it's only a 5-dollar difference, and the oopsy is quickly replaced by my child-like excitement about pulling into the little tire track thing where I can sit back and enjoy and ride.  I remember in high school, I went to a car wash and I was SO distraught when I had to get out of the car and watch from inside the waiting room.  What's the fun of the car wash if you can't even sit in the car?!  Anyway, I slowly roll through the spraying jets and multi-colored foam and swirling jets, and, yes, even at 26 years old I still eagerly anticipate each new phase.  Pre-soak?  Ooo.  Pressure tire wash?!  Awesome.  Shine foam brushing?!  Sounds tingly.  Hot wax treatment?! George looks so clean!  

 I get through the high-powered dryer (which by the way, is quite similar to those new-age hand dryers in bathrooms that I honestly believe are going to rip the skin off my hands), and drive over to the vacuum area.  Another thing about winter, it makes the floor of your car ridiculously disgusting.  So I get out and yank the vacuum hose out of its suction tube and get to work.  But, I don't get far.  I open my back right passenger door, and am shocked to see that my back seat is SOAKING WET.  I'm talking seats soaked, the coat in the seats soaked, puddles on the floor, in my cupholders, and in the little handle on my door.  What. The. Hell.  I'm immediately pissed that the seal on my window is obviously defective.  That's the only logical explanation.  Until I realize that my back right window is open just a little bit.  Obviously enough to create complete chaos in the backseat.  How does that happen?  (1) Why is the window open?!  It's WINTER!  It's been in single digits for the vast majority of the past month.  What reason could I possibly have for opening my window?  And (2)...how did I not notice the perfect storm of thrashing water, soap, and wax going on back there?  What if I had a kid?  And I washed it too because I wasn't paying attention?  I mean I know babies need baths too, but I don't think high-pressure washers and hot foam is the way to go.  So I've heard.  I don't have kids, but I know I don't often see them being wheeled through car washes.

Despite the fact I highly doubt the car wash vacuums are meant to dry cars, or anything else, I am able to get most of the water out of the back seat and off my coat.  And, I haven't noticed anything wrong since it dried!  But, I will always make sure my windows are CLOSED from now on.  You should as well.  And that's my tip of the day.

Lately...

Ok, loyal reader(s), I'm back in business.  I've had a wee bit going on lately.  First of all, we packed up our trendy, chic downtown loft and set up shop in a less trendy, but far more comfortable and convenient 3 bedroom house in Columbia.  We're renting for a bit while we look for a house to (hopefully) purchase this year.  Big doings going on here!  We're also getting married at some point.  Those details are still a bit hazy since my new job took over my life.  It's unfortunate for those of you with Blogger Fever (far less severe than Bieber Fever from what I understand), that I spend that majority of my days doing things that I can't broadcast over the interwebs, much less really talk about at all.  Suffices to say I've REALLY enjoyed my first few weeks, and I'm excited to continue learning and getting better. We've also had SnowMYGOD take over Columbia.  Over two feet dropped, with giant snow drifts that our poor doggies fell into.  It was quite the mess.  That was 2 weeks ago.  Today it was 73 degrees.  Talk about a swing.

But that's not why I'm writing.  Today is the second installment of Animal Control: Columbia.  I could fill up at least a show with my antics.  Today it wasn't a half-dead bat, but a completely live and rambunctious dog.  Scott called me when I was on my way home to inform me that there was a friendly-looking female dog sniffing around our yard.  When I got home, we went to find her because she had wandered off down the street.  She didn't have a collar or tags, so we put her in the backyard, and Scott leaves to go study for the bar.  I make the call to friendly animal control, and discover this dog (who by the way looks like she literally just had surgery and babies- she has parts of her body shaved and huge dog droopy dog boobs) has not been put on any lost dog lists in the city.  She asks me if I want to have someone come pick her up, and I say sure.  So I call Scott, and he doesn't want to do that because he wants to give it some time and report the dog found so I call Debbie at animal control back to tell her I was just joking, and I have her fill out a "found dog" report, and I agree to keep the dog overnight.  At this point, Floppy Teats (that's how I've decided to refer to her) has started barking uncontrollably in the back yard.  She had already eaten (which included spilling food ALL over the porch and eating it like it was trying to run away from her), and had some water, so the only thing left to do (obviously) is get Truman and Cherry to a state of extreme excitement.  She's barking and pawing at the sliding glass door with such intensity that I'm concerned she might have an aneurysm.  I go outside to try and calm her down and she just starts jumping all over me with her muddy paws on my work clothes.  She jumps up, and I reach to push her down to sit and she tries to bite me!  What a bitch.  Here I am trying to feed her and find her home and she goes and mouths off to me.  I don't put up with things trying to bite me...dogs or otherwise.  So I call Debbie...again, and tell her what just happened.  She recommends that animal control comes to get the dog just to be safe.  Shortly after the phone call ended, the incessant barking and pawing led me to take Floppy Teats to the garage.  That required me trying to lasso her like I was an effing cowgirl in my own ridiculous "business casual" rodeo because (a) she doesn't have a collar, (b) she won't sit still for me to slip the leash over her head, and (c) I'm foolishly still wearing my clothes from work, including stilettos.  I finally wrangle her into the leash and lead her in, which leads to sheer chaos inside because I had also brilliantly forgotten to put my own dogs somewhere so they couldn't mess with Floppy Teats.  Fortunately it's all excited and friendly chaos and I lead Floppy Teats to the garage, where Cherry takes initiative for herself and takes off out the door into the garage, where I've left the door open for some reason.  So Cherry is now running around the yard and Floppy Teats is literally about to choke herself trying to join.  I decide to worry about Cherry later so I pull Floppy Teats back into the garage and close the door.  I then manage to squeeze back inside and go try to find my actual dog.  Lucky for me she's actually waiting by the front door.  So we wait patiently for the animal control guy, all the while Floppy Teats is pretty much about to break down the garage door trying to get inside.  Finally a guy who barely looks old enough to drive shows up and Floppy Teats runs to him as soon as I open the garage door for him.  She actually jumps excitedly into the back of his truck.  He explains to me that Floppy Teats will be brought to the Humane Society, where they will try to find her owners by posting her as found.  If no one claims her, they will try to prepare her for adoption.  I ask him about the biting and he says that's something that will have to be considered while they try to train her.  That prognosis sounds far better than my poor half-dead bat buddy Bruce Wayne.  She seems like a sweet dog, I just didn't know how to handle her energy, especially around my already ridiculously hyper dogs.  So, my hope is that Floppy Teats finds either her current home, or if she doesn't have one, I hope she finds a new home. 

The End.

On the road again...

Pretty soon I'll have to change the name of my whole blog, because I won't be in St. Louis anymore!  At 4:54pm the Thursday before I left for Dallas, I got the phone call that had been eluding me for the better part of a year.  I got a real life, full-on big girl job.  Not even A&M's sad loss in the Cotton Bowl could damper my excitement at FINALLY starting my career.  It's been a long time coming, and I'm so excited it's here.  My new career is in Columbia, which means we really should have never left.  But how were we to know?  So, armed with my new job, we set about trying to sort out our move back to Columbia.  We know we want to finally buy a house, but for first-time homebuyers, that it's an overnight process.  We knew we probably couldn't get it done in the few weeks leading up to the move.  Fortunately, a friend in Columbia directed us to a girl we went to school with.  She just got engaged and wanted to move in with her fiance, but had a lease on a house until August.  Enter Nikki and Scott.  We're subleasing from her until her lease is up.  This will give us time to get settled and find our perfect little starter house.  I'm surprised at how well it worked out!  I haven't seen the house yet, but Scott went to look at it.  I know it has 3 bedrooms/2 baths, a 2-car garage and fenced-in yard.  I also know it's a steal, which is good because I didn't want to throw away rent money while we're trying to buy a home.  I've been warned that I will find the kitchen linoleum and kitchen appliances horrid, and that the bedrooms and bathrooms are small.  But, it's not like we have sprawling bathrooms here!  I'm honestly not concerned with the details, because it's not like we're setting up shop for several years here.  This house is a stepping stone to our first real HOME, and I appreciate the fact the the chance to rent it presented itself when we needed it. 

Phase two of our new life- I canceled our huge August wedding.  Well, let me rephrase- Scott and I decided together that the big wedding wasn't the best route for us at this time.  When I booked this stuff last summer, I had no idea it would take us this long to be going in the right direction financially, and it just didn't seem smart to put another huge dent in our money situation for an event that I wasn't even that excited to plan.  I had moments where I got in planning mode, but for the most part I was completely apathetic, and even dreading it.  So, we decided that we wanted a small (SMALL) ceremony with a dinner after.  No fancy linens or overwhelming centerpieces.  No YMCA or Macarena.  Just a small group of people to celebrate a simple and no frills wedding with us.  I think we ended up cutting the guest list from 130 to about 40.  As such, a lot of people that were invited to the original won't be to this one.  I think in lieu of inviting everyone to a huge wedding is we plan to make long-overdue trips to see family and friends we have missed! 

I would just rather have a small ceremony and use the rest of the money to start our lives.  I don't need a huge wedding to prove to people that I love Scott, and vice versa for him.  Hell, my parents got married in my grandparents' backyard and they're going strong after 32 years.  I think the tipping point for me happened when I went to Texas.  Sunday I went with some friends to look at bridesmaid dresses, and while I enjoyed myself, I was having fun mostly because of the people I was with, and not what we were doing.  I just didn't feel the excitement that most brides feel.  Compare that to the next night when I was looking at houses for sale in Columbia.  I was giddy!  That really showed me what was important to me.  So that's that.  If you're not invited to the new wedding, rest assured we WILL find time to come see you and celebrate :)  It doesn't say anything to how important you are to me, it's just a general desire to keep it really small.  And don't worry, we're still going on a honeymoon!


Alright, football is on and it's lunch time.  Love you guys!

Phenomal Cosmic Typing...Itty Bitty Post

    We're so close to 2011.  I had this long year in review post typed up.  It included several deeply personal and emotional stories of events that happened in 2010.  It's been a bit of a rough year, and I sort of let it all spill out.  In the end, though, I just couldn't make myself post it.  It was definitely cathartic to write it all out.  A few tears escaped down my cheeks in some parts.  I think it was such a relief to write it all because it helped me sort out my feelings about everything.  This has been a year of extremes.  I didn't think it was possible to feel both surrounded by love and completely alone in the same year.  I also didn't think it was possible to one day feel that the world was good, and the next day question my very understanding of life.  Sheer excitement and elation to sheer exhaustion, devastation and uncontrollable tears, this has been a year that I will never forget, for better or worse.  It did have the effect of bringing me with closer with people I have been missing from my life.  It also made crystal clear how dearly I value the people closest to me.  Mom and Dad, words can't express how much you mean to me.  I wouldn't be here without you.  You have made me the person I am today, and I wake everyday with the hope that I will continue to make you proud of the daughter you raised.  Extended family, who I have missed dearly, and have loved reconnecting with in recent years- I love you all so much and I am blessed to count you among family.  My dearest and nuttiest friends- you make my life GREAT!  I miss a lot of you every single day, and treasure every text, picture, and chat we get to share. 

I'm really looking forward to all 2011 has to offer.  I'm getting married!  I guess that means I should really start planning.  Here's to a GREAT year.  I know the universe has one stored in there.  :)

Here are some pics that I had in my original post-  bye bye!

This was taken when I still liked Shreveport.  That all changed after we watched the football equipment truck leave the stadium while we were still waiting for our Diamond Jack's shuttle.

"Well, today really is the day.  Will you marry me?....I love you!"

Snow Day Photo Shoot

We woke up this morning to a snow-covered downtown, with the wind blowing and the snow continuing to fall.  The temperature has hovered near single digits all day, but that didn't stop me from snapping some photos of the dogs playing in their favorite environment- a cold, snowy day.

I love them!

What I want....

Christmas in the form of presents isn't really going to be happening this year, what with Scott and I trying to save for the wedding, and trying to help my parents save for the wedding also, but that doesn't mean I can't make a list of what I want!  I was just surfing the interwebs today, and I thought "what would I want if I could have a huge Christmas?"  So here we go.

1. Mr. Coffee Frappe Maker

Does anyone have one of these? I got so excited when I saw it on a website, because I love frapps.  I've never been much of a hot coffee fan, and as such I am the one who gets stared at while ordering a frappucino when it's 4 degrees out. 

2. The iPad

Unlike some people, I've been on the Apple bandwagon for several years now.  While I was late to the iPod party, I've had one for quite a while, I'm typing this entry on a rundown, but still going strong white MacBook, and sure do heart my iPhone.  So, the next logical step is the iPad!

3. Guess Carrie Lee Stilettos

I'm a huge fan of pointy-toed stilettos, and I love shoes that are more fun than just your standard black or brown heels.  I saw these and loved them.  They're so shiny and fun.  They come in a few colors, including this pewter, gold, and purple sequined (that sounds even more fun). 

4. Guess Pharrout Boots

It wouldn't be winter without a new pair of boots!  

5. Coach Mia Signature Lurex Carryall

"I'm a serious young professional, but I'm not boring." That's what this bag says.  At least to me.  They had a few colors to choose from, and I'm not 100% sure what color I like best.

6. Volkswagen CC

 

I'm aware this item on my list is slightly out of the standard Christmas budget, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how much I like it.  Growing up, I always listed a Jetta as one of the things I wanted, on the off-chance I actually got one.  Then, one day, I bought my own.  I'm sure Jackie is making someone very happy now.  Anyway, I like this car because it's still a VW, but it's more practical for the person who's all grown up.  Plus, it comes in AWD, which can be fairly important here.

7. Rhinoplasty

 I don't know who this lady is, but her "before" nose looks a little like mine.  Mine is probably bigger and more bulbous head-on though.  Shout-out to my 4th grade friend Becky and my study-abroad classmate Aubrey for my two broken nose experiences.  Long story short, my nose isn't horrendous, but it would be nice to have completely clear airways.

So that's my little list.  Of course a Target gift card is always a good one.