In the holiday spirit...

I think it's safe to say it's officially Christmas time.  I started with the decorations a little before Thanksgiving, sneaking in a few things here and there so as not to overwhelm Scott.  He's one of the "no Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving" people (I'll admit, for the most part I am too).  So, I wasn't allowed to put up the tree and lights until after Thursday.  But, I did manage to sneak in the door wreath and garland outside, and some garland lining the banister up the stairs.

It's beginning to look (somewhat) like Christmas!  Pardon the quality, the lighting in the hallway doesn't provide for the best iPhone pics.

It wouldn't officially be Christmas time without an embarrassing childhood story.  That's right- they're back.

In 5th grade, I had just moved to Texas, and I was getting used to my new school and all my new friends.  I had already had a slightly embarrassing moment in which I was reading a passage in front of the entire class, and I pronounced the city of Lubbock "Loo-Bock" because being from New York, I had never heard of Lubbock.  Everyone in class started snickering and Mrs. Johnson, whom the pre-pubescent boys dubbed "the hot teacher", kindly corrected me as my face turned beet red.  Then came Christmas time.

During one of our homeroom classes, our teacher told us to use our creative time to draw a picture that represented what we like about the holiday season.  It could be anything, from the Christmas tree, to presents, to sledding, etc.  I decided I was going to draw a Nutcracker, because I liked the play and the music.  We all go about our business with the construction paper and crayons, and I got to work drawing my Nutcracker.  I'm pretty sure I drew a traditional looking Nutcracker- nothing special.  It probably didn't even look like a Nutcracker because I was 10 and not that artistic.  Anyway, I decided to add a caption at the bottom of my picture.  This caption would become the source of much teasing and would result in me having to cut the caption off the bottom of my picture before it could be stapled to the "Holiday Wall" in our classroom.  Keep in mind, I was a total innocent at age 10.  I didn't know any sexual innuendos or phrases.  So I thought nothing of my caption at the bottom of my poorly drawn Nutcracker:

"Crack that Nut!"

Yep.  In fairness to me, I thought, well, that's sort of his job, right?  I had no idea the implications of my little quote could range from actual holiday nutcrackers to a gentleman breaking his testicle(s).  Anyway, when we had to present our pictures and what they meant to us, I held mine up.  Before I could even start speaking, most of the class burst into uncontrollable giggles.  This got the attention of the teacher, who was only half paying attention.  I looked around the room at the people laughing and at first, I assumed they were laughing at my attempt to draw a nutcracker.  I was thinking to myself "well yea it's probably not great but WE'RE TEN!"  The teacher came up and pulled me aside as she instructed someone else to share his picture.  She asked me what I meant by my caption, and I said "well that's what nutcrackers do right? " She just smiled at me, aware of my clueless innocence, and told me that we should probably cut off the caption before I put the picture on the holiday wall.  The damage was already done though, because every stupid 10-year-old guy spent the rest of the school year making clever jokes about hiding their balls.  Looking back on it, how DID they know that my caption could be construed that way?  What are parents teaching their kids?!  Ridiculous.  

And so begins the holiday season!  Cheers!